The Proverbial Void

It’s something that you feel. That you know is there. Because of the overwhelming weight of it. Because it’s holding at your core and pulling you down when the rest of you feels lighter than air and wants to float off. It’s like a burden that’s anchored you in all the wrong ways. But it is still out of reach. Out of the grasp that can prove that it exists. Somewhere where no finger can point with certainty. Hiding in the shadows of things that aren’t there. Hiding in plain sight. Probably, almost invariably, without form.

You wonder what that void is. Why it is there. Why your core, not heart mind you, feels so heavy. Feels deeper than the depth that you know does not exist. And is threatening to swallow you, much like a treacherous black hole.

Ever had that feeling? Where the rest of your body is happier than that core? Where your mind is free but the core is full of foreboding? When you want to laugh so loud and so long because you know you really want to cry. When you want to dance and scream and let out the energy that is both there and isn’t? Because you want to be free of the clutches of that void when you don’t even know why it exists in the first place. Because you want to prove to it that it can’t hold you down.

Maybe that’s why some voids can never be filled. Because we just don’t know what to fill them up with. They are just there. And we have to let them be.

In the face of Transience of the Transient

Most often the things we value, the things that give us solace, and the things that make us feel at home on this planet are the ones we never get to keep. They come as a tease and the moment we begin getting used to the idea of having them in our lives, we cease to possess them. But sometimes it’s not even about possession. Sometimes it’s just about their presence. Because they act as a catalyst to make us push ourselves. Because sometimes they simply act as a distraction to allow us to focus on things that really matter in life.

To grow as a person, to really find the one who breathes life in this manifestation of flesh and blood, does not come easy. When things that motivate us are taken away from us, we are forced to find motivation in things we hitherto did not care about. It is then that we wonder what the entire purpose of the act was. But the challenge of life is to find meaning where there is none.

Because we did not evolve by memorizing axioms. That is not what life is meant for. What it’s meant for is to theorize and ideate and iterate, and find that which completes us and our purpose for existing.